Conflict is a natural feature of human interactions. In any group, clashes of personality, differences of opinions, contrasting beliefs and values or other factors can lead to conflict. With its time pressures, deadlines, and range of personalities, the workplace is the perfect environment for conflict to arise.
Given its ubiquity, as a leader you need to develop your skills in resolving conflict. No matter how good a leader you are, conflict will occur in your team from time to time. First, recognize that, although resolving conflict can be difficult, it should not be avoided; doing so simply allows it to fester and worsen. Conflict rarely dissipates without proactive action from the leader.
When you are directly in conflict with another person(s)
When considering conflict at work that involves you directly, first examine your own reactions to it. Neither aggressive nor passive behaviors will help you in such situations; when you lose control, you are no longer capable of being rational as your emotions take over. So, your first concern in conflict resolution should be to control your own emotions and reactions.
In addition, you must address the emotional aspect of the individual you are in conflict with. You need to make clear that you will listen to what they have to say, but you will not accept their overuse of emotion.
Then, it is a matter of defining the real issue and, once the problem is clear, moving towards solving it. Constant arguing over an already-identified problem is counterproductive, so you need to shift the focus to how things can be improved.
This all sounds so simple, yet you know it is not. But, if you can be calm and firm, you are well on your way to resolving conflict that directly involves you personally.
When conflict occurs between individuals in your team
In developing your ability to deal with conflict between individuals in your team (which may, or may not, involve you), it is important to accept that not all conflict is bad. Conflict can be:
- Constructive, when it leads to better ideas, or
- Destructive, when it damages relationships that are then carried into other aspects of work.
Heated debate, reasoned argument and other such forms of conflict when focused on issues, not personalities – should be encouraged, not stifled. Passion, which is a positive force, can bring people into conflict but killing the conflict prematurely can destroy some of the passion.
Your role as a leader in such circumstances is to ensure that the heat in the situation is not allowed to boil over and that the parties focus on the issue at hand. You may take a direct role in defining the solution, depending upon how the matter develops, but initially you should play a facilitation role to see whether the parties can make it through themselves.
The key to handling constructive conflict is for you to control and guide the direction it takes.
A more difficult challenge is to deal with the different forms of destructive conflict that arise, which add no value in either the short or long term. Often, such conflict takes the form of personality clashes; your role here is to take direct action to resolve it.
Here are some points to consider when dealing with destructive conflict:
- Start by letting the parties involved know that you are aware of the conflict and that you are not prepared to accept it.
- Next, attempt to play a mediation role in trying to define the issues at hand and to get them to agree on a resolution.
- If necessary, meet individually with those involved and then bring them together to seek to agree on a way forward.
- If you simply tell them to stop, as is often done, this does not resolve the conflict, it just buries it, where it continues to do damage.
In some cases, you may not be able to reach a suitable resolution, particularly if it is a matter of two individuals simply disliking each other. When this happens, you must impose the required result. You cannot them to like each other, but you can define the behaviors that you are prepared to accept from them.
Then you must monitor compliance with what you have imposed. Failure to comply should have consequences, as you must send out a consistently strong message that you will not accept destructive conflict within the team.
Dealing with conflict is an everyday reality facing leaders – those who are best at resolving it have strong communication skills and, more importantly, a great understanding of people.
